Things I'm Afraid to Tell You

Last May 3, 2012, one of my favorite bloggers, Ez from Creature Comforts, started a campaign for honesty and transparency among bloggers. According to her, a lot of bloggers gets frustrated most of the time for the gap between real life and online life; therefore, they campaigned for all bloggers out there to write the "Things I'm Afraid To Tell You", which can be secrets, facts, and details about bloggers' lives that they don't usually tell or show readers. It was really a great idea, and reading some of the blogs was really a great experience, as some of them are really far from the image they created from their "online life". I might not have a lot of readers, but I do love writing lists and I have a lot of "Things I'm Afraid To Tell You" too. So, here goes:

• I have never been kissed. I don't want to be called too much of a prude or maybe unattractive, but it's the reality. And as time goes by, I'm scared that my first kiss would be traumatic.#OhIhopenot
• I'm frustrated with the future. I worry all the time, and I always wonder why others are so sure of what they are doing, while I'm not.
• I think I'm still hung up over a certain boy. I mean, he's the only person I truly loved, aside from my own family. However, I don't actually wish that he'll come back. I just find myself thinking of him often (especially the "what if's").
• I'd like to consider myself a patriotic Filipino, yet I always imagine myself out of this country.
• Sometimes, people around me automatically assumes that I'll "always understand". Although that maybe a good compliment, it's a little tiring too. Sometimes, I just want to lose it, and release all the control that I've mastered all my life. That way, people wouldn't take advantage of me.
• I have urges to help some of my friends to change their habits (when I think that they are destructive); however, as much as possible, I try not to, as I believe that, in the end, only them can help their selves. But I always wonder whether that makes me a bad friend.
• A lot of my aspirations are hard to reach, which is why I'm always disappointed on myself.

Ez was right. I had to think twice, thrice, and more to decide whether I want to hit that "Publish"button or not. But as you are reading this now, you'll know that I did, and that perhaps made a little difference. I hope other bloggers will be able to post their  "Things I'm Afraid To Tell You" as well. It's definitely worth it.